Life is a struggle. As a teenager, I lived with perceived pressure from my parents, and real pressure from myself to perform well. I did what was expected without ever asking myself if this is what I really wanted – losing touch with my true self.
When I first met my husband, he planted a seed that children help us grow. As a parent of young children, I was lost at how to support my children’s emotional needs and the conflicts they had with each other. I read parenting books, attended talks, and would apply what I had just learned to the situation at hand. It didn’t work because these teachings did not take into account who my children were and who I truly am.
I was very fortunate to be part of spaces that were nurturing and healing – enabling me to accept myself just as I am. I was then able to build the internal resources to meet the challenges of parenthood in an empathetic and compassionate way. I began to loosen the hold on the negative assumptions I had about each child. As my communication shifted from a tone of judgment and blame to one of just wanting to understand and connect, the conflicts in our family became fewer and fewer.
I went from a parent that was always searching for techniques and solutions to a parent who is grounded – knowing what is needed in the moment to meet my children with empathy and compassion. Coming home to the parent I was meant to be.
When my children became young adults, I came to know Kristin Neff & Chris Germer’s Mindful Self-Compassion. Self-compassion would have been there as an antidote to my harsh inner critic. It would also have helped me recognize I did not need to keep searching for techniques and solutions. The answer to the parent I wanted to be lay within.
Before we can accept the misfortunes of our past, we need time to mourn what we have lost.
“Marina is highly knowledgeable about self-compassion research. She has shared valuable resources that have enhanced my understanding and practice of self-compassion. If you’re looking for a Coach who is a skilled listener, guide, and an expert in self-compassion, I highly recommend her.”
Stuart
“Marina’s process of inquiry caused me to go within and probe instead of resisting or ignoring. She then asked great questions that helped to keep chipping away at what was coming up for me and gave me lots of insights. I felt heard and safe.”
Ruth